Melted pistachio ice cream instead of milk

Reflections

Dumbing myself down is a nuisance
I'm so much smarter than I appear to be

I need to cleanse.
Purge myself.

but I'm scared.
and not in the "OMG it's going to kill me"
kind of way

I used to aspire to be so much.
Those aspirations are gone
When will they return

Call it my 40% of life crisis.
Not quite halfway home
but I just want to be home

I shant turn to god
I put my faith in myself
but even my world
doesn't revolve around me

a month ago
looking in the mirror
made me angry or confused

now I don't know
what I'm seeing
or if I like it

slipping into madness
without my crutch
of the flavors to calm me

even thinking of you
quenched my thirst

but now you're gone
yet I'm not happy

maybe I will be happy someday

Can't find my way home