The 5 Year Anniversary of the Blog blog

Time to break format again. This half decade has really seen me develop as a writer, though none will doubt that I may have certainly taken on a bit more William S. Burroughs-ish sickfuck style in the more recent blogs with my infusion of the aristocrats bit and the ever-evolving homosexual play between my gay Batman & Robin. I like where my blog is going and where I can take it as well. If one person laughs a bit harder than they expected or thinks just a bit harder about something, then I've done my job. Not that this is a job. Far from it. I enjoy it, and thankfully am able to keep it free from ads and still not pay a dime (or earn a dime for that matter). I've tossed the idea around to publish this here thing to reach a wider audience but I don't have the confidence or the egotistical need to succeed at my work.

That being said, I understand my style better than I did when I started 5 years ago, and I've continued to refine both my methods and formats, says the man who has wrote such uplifting lines as "I wonder how smart I am compared to the smartest retarded person.", "...to which someone would say "HIDE THE DICKS!"" and "If dick tasted better, would chicks give more head? It's not like I'm saying douse it in chocolate syrup or steak sauce or anything. I'm going back to my genetic engineering thing. Like, if the skin in the man-parts could excrete candy flavoring upon application of female saliva.". Well, I remain entertained by the whole process, from the planning, brainstorming with the other writer(s), the actual writing, the editing, the proofreading all the way to reading the finished product (and editing and proofreading again). I suppose it's a taste of what being an actual writer must be like, but slow down, I've already said I'm not emotionally ready for that yet [Ed. ie. The writer(s) of johnny.random have commitment issues.] Ass.

You may have noticed that I started from free form for a while, mostly of a traditional "this is whats happening in my life" kind of blog. I got away from that, thankfully.
The rejuvenation happened in early 2007 when I adopted the (generally) 16 passage format. The format was pretty loose. I relied on quotes a lot, and had a lot of one-liners. It was funny, sure, but in hindsight was about half lame, and that's excluding the phase when I still thought dane cook was funny.
I reinvented the blog after somewhat of a hiatus in 2008. Early 2009 brought the funny to a new level. My psyche was exposed, but I was wearing pants. Pardon the mental picture. Passages have been retired and reworded but the core is getting more solid. The Batmans, the 4 random thoughts, the continuing penetration of Britney Spears's vag with increasingly large objects!
The reader(s) overall have responded well to the new format. That, and the ease of reading thru the book of faeces has certainly directed some more traffic to the blog.
So what does the future hold? Well, the writer(s) are jettisoning ideas to increase the passage count to 30. There will be many studies and focus groups to determine which oh these passages will be most pleasing to the average reader. ((FC. The previous line is a falsehood. Do not attempt to contact the writer(s) of the blog to make money in said focus group)) Right. There will be much gnashing of teeth, generally, at least a blog a month as has been usual. All that, and more. Honestly, I don't know what the future holds other than that 30 passage count thing, so, lick my satchel if you expect a laundry list of policialish lies of expectations.

Speaking of satchels...the few of you reader(s) who have been on board since blog one, thank you. I'd thank you individually but I have a rash and I think it's contagious. ((FC. The previous line is a falsehood. He just doesn't want to see you and/or doesn't know you well enough to care about you personally.))

Of course, I encourage those of you who have been reading since early 2006, and/or those of you who have read this accidentally thinking it may be something actually funny...to go ahead and rifle through the 210 existing blog posts and continue to let me know your favorite bits and passages. Or your least favorites. Or your hate mail. Or your naked pictures. Or your clothed pictures. Or your cartoons. Or your photoshopped pictures of your mom fucking sponge bob squarepants.
Yeah. The last thing. and dictotomy. Cool word. Yeah.
...
I know, I know, the blog is a few days late. We had a bit of a gigantic fucking snowstorm here on the day I was going to edit this but I was seriously in a demented pain coma, like, to the point that I was seeing shit from being in so much pain [Ed. ...and the writer(s) did a whole lot of peyote on accident.] [Ed. Kidding. Kinda.]
...
...and I was gonna put together a best of... set of blogs for the whole anniversary celebration but yeah, I'm not jumping the shark yet [Ed. ...just doing massive amounts of peyote accidentally.]

ah, and welcome back to two...I dunno, let's call them entities, who've been missed over the past few months, signore editor and fact checker!
[Ed. *takes bow to a rousing set of applause* Thank you, thank you. Now go home and get your fucking shinebox]
((FC. Thanks, and please note that the writer(s) of johnny.random do not own nor are in the possession of a fucking shinebox))

Really. I hope you all have enjoyed the blog as much as the writer(s) have. Thanks for a good 5, and here's to 5 more!