Welcome to this World, Skylee

Ok, aside from welcoming Skylee to this world, I'd like to take a moment to welcome three new writers to random's section of the blogosphere. If the reader(s) of this blog care, they are as follows in no particular order:
Suntzu can be a professional blogger, and has the goods to be critical of all things cultural or political. He has many qualities valued by this blog and it's reader(s) so he is a welcome addition.
Geek is a geek. The original writer(s) of johnny.random have had many occasions in which to share view(s) with geek regarding technology and politics. The technology portion is by far Geek's strong suit.
Glenn is also known as glennman, who which may or may not be a professional musician with the writing talents on par with Kerouac. He honestly can write his way out of a paradox, if that is at all possible.
The original writer(s) of johnny.random would like to welcome the above mentioned 4 individuals to johnny.random's world.

Blagoyebitch, he gone.

I wanted to write a sentence with the insult pickle fucker in it.
done.
and she's still not a pickle.

The other day was the NHL all-star game. The final score was 12-11.
In case you didn't know, that's a lot of goals.

Of all the named colors in the world, I'd say I now love Peach the most.

So I'm most of the way through Stephen King's new book. I'm almost to the point of writing fan mail.

Speaking of blagoyebitch, he was such a whiney bitch during his New York "let's try and stay governor even though I'm a corrupt ass-biting tool by kissing Whoopi Goldberg's panooch" trip
Add him to the list of politicians that I hate.
It's a long list.

No link today, but I will take a moment to say It's good to be an uncle

"Are you sure it was a woman?"

There are increasing occurances of the utterance "Barnacles" in my common phraseology.
Too much SpongeBob SquarePants.

I wonder. It hurt.

I will gladly accept candy in place of money, if it's a lot of stinkin candy. And by a lot I mean literal metric tons worth.

"Come with me into the trees. We'll lay on the grass and let hours pass. Take my hand, come back to the land. Where everything's ours for a few hours..."

How much longer until blackpresident gives me some money?
At least some government cheese.
Crap.
That was bad.
That was, in fact pitiful.
I hate myself.

"As we stand here totally Krossed out"

My pondering of the day is internal. I clearly have issues with my mind. That's been obvious for years. I don't want to blame anyone else for the whole "me being crazy" thing or at least the "me being unnormal" thing. But, what if there's some suppressed memory that I can't remember that totally fucked me up? That's the whole point, it's suppressed, how would I know if I'm crazy because of it?
In other words...I'm retardeder than last year so I must not be crazy.

I like your moves

So, first things first. I threw my back out again. It's incredible that it was foot related [ed. the writer(s) at johnny.random had a back mishap on Mother's Day 2007 in which drying off of feet with a towel after showering was the culprit]. I was taking off my socks and well, lets just say that the sciatic nerve can really fuck you up.

Along the same lines:
sedentaryLifestyle.perks --;

"It's a '76. Won't be out 'til next year. But I know some people that know some people that robbed some people."

I stopped quitting smoking again. You'd think that hurting my back on the day that I started up again would have been a sign. Nah. It wasn't.

In other news, the other day i was flicking little icicles off my "icicle lights" and gutter by my front door. but apparently when i went to town on the big icicles a few days ago, I exposed some wiring on the icicle lights and when a icicle refused to flick off, i grabbed it and said "WOAH, THATS ELECTRICITY"
I'm not paraphrasing.

I've been informed that McCain and Hillary Clinton are rumored to be sharing "trips abroad".
1) Lose presidential election.
2) Have sex.
3) ????
4) profit!
Too bad she doesn't honk horn.

Am I the only person who'd like to see blackpresident [ed. President Barack Obama] giving it to Sarah Palin on national television? And by giving it to Sarah Palin, I don't mean a stern talking to.

Reel Big Fish
So I bought the new RBF CD. It is well recommended. I'm particularly proud of "Talk Dirty To Me", but I'm also the kind of guy who still owns "Look what the cat dragged in" and "open up and say aaah" on cassette tape.

on the plus side, I was able to make it nearly 150 hours without a cigarette.

So the blackhawks dropped a deuce on the ice yesterday night. Not literally. Literally, 3 shots on goal in the first period. That's a deuce. [ed. deuce means two, dumbass].

In case you were wondering about that quote. I'm actually gonna identify it. Starsky & Hutch. Funny movie. I was expecting a lot worse. Will Ferrell, as usual, steals the show.

"One great big festering neon distraction. I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied
Learn to swim"

I bought a GPS yesterday. TomTom. It's one of the ones where you can get James Earl Jones to tell you to turn left on "Memory Lane in one quarter miles".
Light saber optional.

My dog is increasing his verocity in which he attacks our cat named either Tiger or Garfield. This is despite the fact that Tiger/Garfied resembles Garfield and can clearly no longer fit in his mouth. Squeaky toy. No. Dinner for four days. Yes.

Verocity. hehe.

"I was teenage rockin buck
with a pink carnation and a pickup truck
I knew we were out of luck
the day the music died..."

It was over a decade ago

So we recently went through a period of over 24 hours where the temp didn't get over 0 degrees. It hadn't happened in a little more than a decade. [ed. that's ten years for our slow reader(s)] You know what else happened about 6 months after that cold winter...a day so hot that people died. The dew point was the highest ever measured at Chicago. In other words, it's going to be really fucking hot relatively soon so quit your bitching.

It's so cold this morning that the kids have had school canceled. Those were the days. I bet they laugh at us in Minnesota though. "8 inches of snow...you pussies"...kinda like how we make fun of Atlanta when it shuts down over ANY snow.

I've decided to give up my dream of being an empirical dictator. I'd much rather get my power legitimately, like winning the lottery or getting lots of money when someone dies and wills it to me.

"Denial is the most predictable of all human responses."

If I died, can I have my brain cremated separately?

On the plus side, hockey is becoming much more entertaining. I watched a tivo'd game last night. I wish I could be a referee, seriously. Games I ref would be 75% power play.

Metallica will be entering the rock & roll hall of fame this year. Congrats, and finally, something that I approve of from the elitist shitrag of a magazine called Rolling Stone. [ed. some of the executives at Rolling Stone have the final say on nominees and such for the rock & roll hall. They suck ass on a regular basis and eat so much leftist cock that Ralph Nader is jealous]

Rickey Henderson is entering the baseball hall of fame. Good. We boo'd him at Comiskey. There's no doubt in my mind that he was one of the best ever though. I had a video all lined up for this one ala David Cross making fun of Rickey Henderson. You're just gonna hafta take my word for it that it was funny.

Dude, this saturday there's a thing at Links & Tees in Addison. Cool stuff and stuff. Go there. New golf dome.

The likelihood of interior lighting making my headache worse is very fucking likely.

"I blind my eyes and try to force it all into place,
I stitch them up, see not my fall from grace.
I blind my eyes, i hide and feel it passing me by,
I open just in time to say goodbye. "

As I trek towards the possibility of never smoking a cigarette for the rest of my life, I regret to inform my adrenal glands that they'll only get stimulated when they are supposed to rather than roughly every 2 hours except for when I'm sleeping or at work then it's about every 3-8 hours. Um. whatever.

I have the world famous NOFX trumpet line playing in my head as I think of the following lyric:
"I wish I had a schilling for every senseless killing
I'd buy a government. America's for sale
And you can get a good deal on it
And make a healthy profit"

Whats the deal with biscotti? 1) Why is it so fucking expensive? 2) Who actually eats it on a regular basis?

Let's all get high and watch Avatar. NOT.

I've been thinking more and more about how this life may be pointless. Don't assume I'm thinking suicide b/c I'm not. I just am feeling less and less that our lives have any meaning in the big picture, especially is there is no such thing as free will or an afterlife. [ed. the editor has just been replaced by another editor,me, because the writer(s) at johnny.random have caused the previous editor to plummet to his death]

There is no johnny.random only zuul

I'm sick of pandora playing the same songs on my radio stations. johnny.random has a fever, and the only cure is more random!

I wonder what it would be like to literally laugh your ass off. Talk about a new diet fad!

The new Reel Big Fish CD comes out soon. I wish they had released it before Christmas so I could have gotten it as a gift instead of buying it.

I'm much much calmer this morning than yesterday. I stopped quitting smoking. One of these days I'm gonna beat this thing.

American Idol is the devil's tool

"So the 7 little dwarves had a limited partnership in a small mining operation.And one day a beautiful princess came to live with them.And they bartered housekeeping services for room and board,which was a really good deal for them because they didn't have to withhold social security or income tax or nothin',which you're really not supposed to do,you see,but for the purpose of the story,its ok"

http://www.islandnet.com/~see/weather/events/chisnow1967.htm
You know, for reference. 23" snowstorm. Not. very. yummy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existentialism
If curiousity strikes you to be either 1)bored or 2)extremely confused, you know.

I watched this deuce on tv about how humanity would end the other day. I forget the name of the show. That is all [ed. What the fuck?!]
It's filler [ed. You're fired]
Fine.





[ed. ok, you can finish]

Predatory animal(s) live in my basement. One of which may or may not be a cat named Tiger and/or Garfield. That feline that I'm referring do most definitely wants to murder me in my sleep. You know, slice my neck open from ear to ear with his razor sharp claws, pee in my mouth and drop a deuce in my pillowcase.

I just realized what a bad name for a band "the goo goo dolls" is. Fuck that name.

"I've seen the Devil, in my microscope and I have chained him, and I suppose you could say in a sense metaphorically speaking, I have cut him to pieces. The Devil, Mr.Douglas, I've found is nothing more than a tiresome collection of genes, and it is with great assurance that I can tell you, that Lucifer, Son of Morning is no more. "

I'd like to investigate a paranormal experience...and not find anything.

If there was a radioactive-nuclear bomb explosion type mutant like on heroes, which city would he/she (that's not a he or she reference...the mutant would be a hermaphrodite, im sure of it) blow up?

"All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be."

What would be the best way to figuratively fuck an organization or company. I'm not a sue-er so don't even suggest that. I'm not big on property crime or theft either. You reader(s) would know I'm partial to suggesting actual fucking as a punishment for wrongdoing. But in the case of an organization or company, it's not simple enough to just publicly and literally fuck the CEO, and nearly impossible to fuck each company member with rabid dogs (besides, the WHOLE company would rarely be to blame). So that idea is out the window. I suppose just rounding up all the assets of the evildoers and destroying them would suffice. Yeah. [ed. Yeah!] Can I have a raise? [ed. I'll think about it]