Thar be dragons

have i mentioned that I'm on wellbutrin? [ed. he's crazy, i think]

I wanted to use the phrase "I hate government inefficiency" in a sentence.
Done.

Plot hole on heroes! tis but a little one:
"The song on Alice's record and on the radio in the Coyote Sands Cafe in May 1961 is Roy Orbison's Crying, which was not released until July 1961"

So I've been constantly sore from playing softball. One of these days I'll get in shape. One of em. Hint: it's not tomorrow.

Today is earth day. Another whoopdittydo. A bunch of treehuggers plant a few shruberries and we're supposed to turn off our lights for 10 minutes or something. Fuck that. How about some real change, like bringing back candles as a source of light or maybe stop driving polluting, inefficient, wasteful, expensive, oil-dependent automobiles or elect people to our Congress that aren't money grubbing whores who are in bed sucking the dicks of every oil company CEO on the fucking planet and push their political party's agenda and not what the jesusdamn people of this nation truly fucking want.
Ok. I'm done.

Another new hot dog recipe for ya. 1 bun. 1 hot dog. 1 serving of mustard potato salad.
84 calories for the bun, 170 calories bun-length oscar mayer hot dog, 250 calories potato salad.
Dang. not even close to 2,000.

So piracy is on the rise. No, Johnny Depp isn't making a new Pirates of The Caribbean movie. Real pirates. With guns. And bad teeth. You know, like the extras for the Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I support piracy in theory so long as innocent people get whacked. [ed. you mean DON'T get whacked, right.] No, I want innocent people to die. Because it goes along with my America's plan for international seclusion. [ed. Seclusion? You're fucking retarded] Retarded, no. Innovative, yes. [ed. No, we'll stick with retarded on this one]
Fine.

http://zone.msn.com/en/chickeninv2/default.htm
Click Play Now.
You'll regret it later.

btw. alcohol is dangerous to your health too. [ed. So?]
I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

One thing that I'm really glad about...the CFO from Freddie Mac committed suicide. [ed. You are a sick and twisted man. You do know that, right?]

"All right, which one of you masturbated in the bathroom?"
Notice the quotes.

Ok, a recent chat I had got me all riled up. The subject of fighting in hockey. I have a pretty solid argument, I just don't see the validity in "It's wrong" or "They're grown men, they shouldn't fight". The argument of "I don't wanna watch boxing, I want to watch hockey" still is a matter of preference but I also understand it. I like hockey without fights, it's still good to watch, especially in international competition. With that argument though, someone is gonna be pissed. The fan would likes it the way it is OR the fan who wants a clean and pussified version of hockey where the players don't wear pads, they wear tutus. I say keep it the way it is, obviously. [ed. ...but you said you like hockey without the fighting too! me confuse. dont cunfoose editor. make head hurt. blarg. "Johnny 5 is ALIVE!"]
Johnny.Random - 1
editor - 0

This weekend will bring the return of softball, pending rain of course. I found out something about my batting during our "spring training". Well, my swing is inconsistent but not gripping the bat like I'm strangling one of those tribal people with the stretched out necks from those rings they put on em...seems to help. Now I hold it like I'm gently holding...myself.

"Every second 28258 Internet users are viewing pornography"
I'm not viewing pornography this second.
Nor This second.
Nor This second.
Nor This second.
Yes, I said it thrice...and I'm not watching pornography right now, either.

Holy Shit, Gitmo's gonna bite Cheney in his wheelchaired ass, Batman

Fuck it, I'm moving to North Korea.
They like white people there, right?
No?
Ok, South Korea then.