So I cut off my beard. One kid didn't want me to cut it, and an evening later, is thanking me for starting to grow it back again. The other kid threatened to kill me. Even the dog is confused.
"I knew it all along, I had to write this song. Too young to fall in love, guess we knew it all along."
Fuck pussy-ass 3 chord alternacrap sellout bands that everyone musically inclined to be diverse knows better that to listen to. I hope they all fade into the sunset like a modern day REO Speedwagon.
Fuck Kid Rock too. Detroit can lick my ass-crack.
I have a posterior view of her posterior. In other words, I was looking at Jenny's ass.
I haven't drank (or is it drunk?? [ed. WHO CARES]) Kool-Aid in a long friggin while. I should make some. The old fashioned way. Shit loads of sugar, water, and a pack of that shit that changed color in the water.
No makey sensey: Twice Daily I will I will I will.
Nonsensical: Twice Removed I wont I wont I wont.
"Moving to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches"
Is Bill Clinton still a horny adulterer? I'd like to know if he's getting lots of young Democrap tail on his wife's campaign trail.
I want to see a mutant crocodile. That would be cool.
The devil doesn't exist. I met his mother. She told me that he moved to Wyoming and died.
"…police blotter showed connection between alcohol consumption and crime"
No shit.
I wasn't paying attention, so I got whacked by a rubber chicken.
"They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvers, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers"
I can't wait.
The word of the day is splendiferous.
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