They're not stolen. They're put away

Today seems to be a day of quotes. Read on, reading readers.

"I always tell the truth. Even when I lie."

Good idea- get a keg for tomorrow, that way everyone will want to help us move into our house.

"Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."

"one point twenty-one gigawatts!"

It's impossible to have a drowsy Sudafed! Sudafed has ingredients to make crystal meth in it... You know, counting the pixels in your computer screen meth.

"Dan Patrick: Hi there. I'm Dan Patrick.
Kenny Mayne: And I'm Kenny Mayne.
Dan Patrick: With the first seven months of the BASEketball postseason out of the way, the playoff picture is now starting to emerge.
Kenny Mayne: So, with last night's victory over Boston, next week the Beers must beat Indianapolis in order to advance to Charlotte. That's in an effort to reduce their magic number to three.
Dan Patrick: Right, and then the Beers can advance to the National Eastern Division North to play Tampa.
Kenny Mayne: So, if the Beers beat Detroit and Denver beats Atlanta in the American Southwestern Division East Northern, then Milwaukee goes to the Denslow Cup, unless Baltimore can upset Buffalo and Charlotte ties Toronto, then Oakland would play LA and Pittsburgh in a blind choice round robin. And if no clear winner emerges from all of this, the two-man sack race will be held on consecutive Sundays until a champion can be crowned.
Dan Patrick: Right."

http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/shania-twain-2006-br-01.jpg
You're welcome.

teabagging is not in my sexual history.

Hmmm. Jenna Bush is engaged. Hell must be freezing over like, for real this time.

"Good bye, Ruby Tuesday"

Advice from Johnny.Random(), don't look up tentacle porn on the internets.

"What ever happened to suburban rhythm? All the other bands are just shit."

Hehe, you said jamook.

"bunch of fuckin savages in this town"

Shameless plug:

"Our Twisted Point of View"