That’s what she said

I was thinking of the movie "History of Violence" the other day. The scene on the stairs. I have no further comment.

Mbork mbork. Hummada hummada.

Carlos Zambrano = a non-sexy angry latino. He's messing with my fantasy baseball team on a near-constant basis. He's making me care about the cubs! Oh no!

I've got to stop using "gay" as an adjective. I'm the one who listens to Kylie Minogue.

"One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing."

If I could lose an eye, I'd pick the left one.

If I were a different person, living a different life, as a conservative perhaps, then I would totally do Ann Coulter. In my current opinion, she's a C U Next Tuesday.

"kill a puppy dog instead"

The Baltimore orioles put Miguel Tejada on waivers and the sox put in a bid. The Orioles pulled out. I lost wood.

I can't like Ryan Theriot because his last name reminds me of Jocelyn Thibault every time I hear it. It's going to take a long time to erase those years of bad hockey and soft goals.

The sox magic number is 62. With 51 games left. Hey, it can happen.

I twisted my ankle while playing Frisbee with an 8 year old on Saturday. Yeah, you can call me a brittle bitch. I can take it. I can always blame it on Gary.

"oh shakira shakira"
Yes, still stuck in my head. That's another thing that I can blame Gary for.

Wow, that smells like ICBINB.

hey jupiter == a "lilith fair"-type song that I'd love to get hand relief to
omg did i just type that
and by the way, if you look up hand relief on wikipedia, it redirects you to the page for masturbation.

Shameless plug:
"Our Twisted Point of View"