In a leather thong

Green Day is in the new simpsons movie. I am pleased with their animated performance.
Tom Hanks too. Him, not so much. Lol

I farted at the notion of a healthy Kerry Wood.

I have a notion that if I look at gay porn at work, the IT guy will never talk to me again…cuz if gaybuttsex.com shows up as my most visited domain on his list, that'll be the end of my friendship with him.

UG! Frustrating! 3 months for 4 shitty songs and now my ex-best friend turned into a cock-eating-emo-fag! What the FUCK. I should sue him for all the money I spent laying down the awesome guitar work on our shitty demo. Plus emotional distress and punitive damages.

Question: Do dogs know how much their shit stinks?

The sox & yanks both scored 8 runs in the 2nd inning...and sent 26 batters to the plate total. The inning took an hour. Can I repeat my fuck the white sox comment?

Ok, My goal of the year is to make a stew so fart-friendly that noone will be able to come near me for at least 2 days. Beans, corn, peppers, cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, milk, bread, eggs, beer, grapes and last but not least BEEF.

Speaking of farts:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007030500,00.html
buy one of these, you'll be set after eating my stew. Well, probably not my stew, but heck, you can even fart in church!

I hate missing the aura of funky music because I don't do peyote.

BTW fuck darin erstad, that brittle bitch is injured again. AGAIN.
Ozzie should barbeque him and eat him with a side of flautas.

"i figure if i had a million dollars id hook that up"

Ug. Q-tip the pee hole. Catheter in the pee hole, now that would make me want to punch nurses in their cervixes.

Dammit dude, I just sat on my balls again.

Why do I still listen to Madonna? I must have a kinda-gay problem upstairs.

Speaking of that: Here's a nice quip or whatever you call it
Me: Wait, did you just call me a fag?
Buddy: erm…no
Me: ah, must be the voices in my head
Not that there's anything WRONG with that.

Aside from all that…I was banged unconscious yesterday. In a good way.